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Printed Anthologies
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July 2007

July 2007 - Computers

Gallery

Columns

  • EMG News:
    News of July!
  • Healthy Green Artists:
    Greening Your Computer
  • Behind the Art:
    Creating a Book in InDesign
  • Myths and Symbols:
    Inhuman Double
  • Wombat Droppings:
    Digital Evolution

    Features

  • P4S5W0RD5
  • The Fairies' Harp Walkthrough
  • 1001 Wonderlands: Alternate Reality Games

    Fiction

  • Fiction: Game Over?
  • Fiction: Computerized Frustration
  • Fiction: Crashing
  • Fiction: My Computers

    Reviews

  • Movie: Men in White


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  • Computerized Frustration
    by Shannon Wolff

    What do you mean that file is inaccessible?
    I worked with it just yesterday
    Oh, please let me work with that file
    I'm on a deadline and it's today

    If I miss another deadline my boss will kill me
    Or at least make me wish he had
    I've already asked him for one extension
    Asking for another will just make him mad

    Tell me; do you enjoy seeing me sweat?
    Is this some kind of cheep thrill to you?
    Just remember who keep you software up to date
    And whose wall you're plugged into.

    You still won't let me access the file?
    Not even when I say pretty please
    Fine, I'll just move on to threats
    Then we'll see who's on their knees

    Now, where'd I put that sledge hammer?
    Or I could cause a power surge and let you fry
    Just cough up the file and nobody gets hurt
    Otherwise, you can kiss your hard drive good-bye

    Still won't cooperate? We'll soon see about that
    My patience has warn well beyond thin
    You'll talk this time if you know what's good for you
    And if you ever want to see your mouse again

    Oh, you mean the file just isn't there anymore?
    That's right; I did transfer it to disk
    Why didn't you just say so in the first place?
    We could have avoided all this unpleasantness

    ,

    Shannon Wolff was born in Alaska and grew up in a little town called North Pole. This fact has lead every one of her relatives not familiar with Alaska, and complete strangers, to ask if she knows Santa Claus. She now resides in Cartersville, Georgia and is having mixed results with informing her new neighbors about her previous residence.
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